sexlexia: (Default)
sexlexia ([personal profile] sexlexia) wrote2009-11-13 08:31 pm

Lois Lame

Marly and I broke up.
I'm okay. I think.

He says it's because we're more just best friends living together than a couple.
Which is true and I could see this was happening but I just put off thinking about it because it's way to hard to deal with.
And I still love him. Like, he hugs me and I'm like "FUCK I WANT KISS HIM BUT I CAN'T." I want to do it more now that I can't. It's ridiculous and I feel like such a fucking LOSER.

Anyway, he's going to move out and I'm going to stay here for a while. The plan is for Indie to spend half the week with him, but I really don't think I can only see him for 3.5 days a week, so I don't know.
I don't want to be a bitch, but in the back of my mind I keep planning elaborate escapes where I take him to France and we live in a little apartment above a bakery and never have to deal with all this again. But that would be terrible, obviously.
Plan B is that, with all this free time I'll have, I go to uni and try to find a place closer to steiner. At the moment I'm voting against this idea, because just having to live there and see all his friends all the time seems like the worst kind of torture. I don't even know why, but I feel like they're really happy about this. Like they've been waiting for it and they're all going to go out and Marly's going to scam on cheap American tourists at Cheeky Monkeys and party every day.


Okay. I can deal with it though.
I feel like eventually I'll be okay. But at the moment my ego has taken a massive hit.
I feel like a total loser, because I'm upset about this whole thing. Marly is all cool about it, when Angie asked how his week had been he's like "Yeah, it's been good, thanks." I just wanted to gouge out his freaking eyes. IT'S BEEN GOOD? REALLY? FUCK YOU!

Also, I've come to the conclusion that I look like a troll and I've pretty much decided not to leave the house anymore for fear of stoning. Like that Gollum that was killed by those kids in Panama, you know? Kids will be so scared of me that they'll beat me to death and throw me in the river.