sexlexia: (Default)
sexlexia ([personal profile] sexlexia) wrote2009-07-07 02:06 pm

(no subject)

I'M HAVING A CANCER SCARE AND IT'S FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT.



Friday last week I get this intense pain in my uterus/ovary/intestine area + a really high fever. The pain goes if I stay still. The fever lasts through the night, but breaks in the morning. The pain stays, and the next night the fever comes back. Then they both disappear Sunday morning and I'm feeling fine.
So I go to my doctors, and doctor says that since it's gone and there hasn't been any bleeding then I shouldn't worry too much about it. Doctor suggests I get a pap-smear anyway, because I'm due for one. I book it in for the next week. During that week I start spotting, which I've never done before and I freak out.
This morning I go in for my pap-smear and tell my doctor about the spotting. He says it might be due to pregnancy, so he tests for that and it comes back negative. He also said it might be chlamydia or gonorrhea, but since I was tested for those a couple of years ago and haven't been with anyone new since, it's unlikely. He sends my urine to get tested anyway.
Anyway, he starts to do the pap-smear, but notices that there is a blood clot near my cervix, which explains the spotting. There's too much blood to get to the cervix, so I need to reschedule. He does an internal exam to feel if my cervix is tender, but it isn't.

Anyway, he said try not to worry too much, but I should come back as soon as the spotting stops and get the pap-smear.
But I worry pretty easily. I drive home and burst into tears in the car, worried that it's cervical cancer.

I just keep picturing myself dying, with Indie sitting there and it fucking KILLS me.

I'm probably over-reacting like crazy though.